HOW TO: MAKE ANGRY EGGSALAD

FIRST YOU TAKE SOME EGGS

THEN YOU PUT THEM IN A POT OF COLD WATER AND WAIT FOR THEM TO BOIL (SET IT TO MEDIUM HEAT)

WHEN IT BOILS LOWER THE HEAT AND LET THEM STEW IN THEIR OWN FILTH FOR FIVE MINUTES

THEN YOU TAKE THEM AND DRAIN THE WATER, THEN PUT THEM IN WATER AS COLD AS THE HEARTS OF YOUR ENEMIES

THEN PROCEED TO PEEL OFF SHELLS WHEN THEY ARE COOL

CHOP THEM UP AS IF THEY WERE THE FACES OF ALL WHO HAVE WRONGED YOU

THEN ADD MAYONNAISE AND ADDITIONAL SEASONINGS

IT SHOULD END UP LOOKING SOME WHAT LIKE THIS

ENJOY ON BREAD OR CRACKERS

AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE EGGSALAD WELL YOU CAN JUST GO AWAY 

Love, Lizzie

xox

p.s. sorry about my face